Sunday, January 20, 2013

Top Ten Most Annoying Things in Youtube Top Ten Lists

Hey y'all.  So I'm working on my Top Ten Top Tens worst/most hated/most annoying video game character list, and that'll be done probably later this week (school and work exist), but now that I've started, I'd like to share with you some things that just annoy the crap out of me as I'm watching these videos.  Chances are, you do too.  You probably don't watch as many top tens as I've had to for my blog posts, but that doesn't mean that some of them just plain piss you off.  The point of a video is to be entertaining, right?

So, here's something to tide you over until later.  Top ten most annoying things in top ten lists!!!

- The character/song/whatever is not given a text blurb.

I mention this as number ten because it annoys me more than it does you, more than likely.  Here I am, trying to do these blogs, and I have not played every game in the universe.  I can't tell one Final Fantasy character from another, particularly not with their outlandish names.  It's very hard for me to count the points of what the vid maker has chosen if he hasn't written it out, and I have to guess from his lackadaisical pronunciation what the crap he's trying to say.  So just write it out already.

# 9
- Splitting a list of ten into two or more videos.

Now, I understand if your list is of music, and for whatever reason you want to post the whole song. That, however, is my only exception, and even then I find it mildly irritating. If you're doing a list of top ten video game characters, there's no reason in the world why you have to do places 1-3 in a separate video, or, even weirder, places 1-7 in a different video from 8, 9, and 10. It's jolting, pointless, and wastes time. Even if you're doing a top 30 list, why not just do ten for each video like a sane person? Who thinks doing a #15-#8 video makes sense? Nobody, that's who.

- Using an action clip to describe the number.

Look, people.  I know you're making a top ten most creepy characters list, and that's fine and all.  You don't have to show a dang clip of Mimi breaking her own neck every single time you transition.  Every number count should take only two seconds at most, and should show YOUR personality, not a clip from some game unrelated to what you're saying.  I don't want to watch a blocky scene of that one Final Fantasy girl getting stabbed by that guy everybody hates ten times.  Just have a shiny number with something purty in the background, then be on to the next thing immediately.  I'm not impressed by fancy transitions, alright?

- Showing your top ten picks during the intro.

Really?  REEAAAALLLY?  We're going to be watching your video in thirty seconds and you're going to spoil it?  Why?  Either just show general clips from a relevant game, or some clips of honorable mentions.  Or maybe just some character that will distract your viewers from guessing what's actually on your list.  Don't give it away.

Notedly, I actually like it when the top ten are written out in the description.  Not that I think people should do that.  It would ruin the video, but as someone just trying to collect information, it would be handy, as long as I would have to click "show more" to actually see it.  It's really handy if your video sucks.  So don't have a sucky video, and it won't be necessary.

- Pretending to stutter.

Actually, I hate this in all videos.  The video maker will find himself in an awkward place, then proceed to make it more awkward by purposefully stammering and repeating several words.  "You think I, I should...I'm gonna -- yeah, don't care what you say I'm...I'm gonna, y'know totally blam-bu-blam-blam-BLAM...." 

Oh holy crap I just want to punch him in the face.  What's even worse is when they stammer over how much they suck.  That's like stuttering squared.  Two people very guilty of this are Peanut Butter Gamer and Space Hamster.  They take a moment to just awkwardly stutter on in some unfunny joke that you wish they would just skip and go on to something interesting.  Don't get me wrong, PBG is funny and I haven't seen much Space Hamster, but I'm not entertained by the same, pathetic "joke", particularly when it makes an appearance in almost every single video PBG does.

- Long, pointless intros.

Look, I know you think you're cool and all.  You're a new Youtube poster, and you want to make everyone see your skills with editing.  And you do this in the most annoying way possible: with a long, boring intro.

There are two kinds of intros.  The first is the really generic intro where they play unrelated music to clips of popular video games.  This is so lame.  It's not original at all, and it merely wastes time.  All it proves is that you know what games are popular and delays the actual content of your video.

The other kind of bad intro is a really long, musical intro for the specific Youtube user, involving lots of lightning, his name done all fancy, and using Photoshop to its full capacity.  It still sucks.  It's the equivalent to writing a book and trying your hardest to use the fanciest words ever.  You've proven you have good vocabulary, but not that you can entertain.  Sometimes the intro is the most quality thing about the video, and the user looks like a loser because his intro is well done, and his video quality is pathetic.

Sometimes the intro isn't even well done.  It's got MSPaint art and writing, and an unedited, unstylish version of the user singing his own theme song.  Uggghh....singing is a good skill, but not necessary when making a youtube video.  Especially since you're not the judge of your own voice: everyone else is.

Look, find some of the more popular Youtube people.  Most of these have no intro, and the few that do have intros that are less than five seconds, and don't put them in every video. If you want to gain viewers, do what they do.  Sheesh.

- Your voice is annoying.

This is a sad truth for some people.  Usually it's because the Youtube users in question are too high pitched.  Sometimes it's because they're too young and need to grow a little older, sit further from the mic, or calm down and stop raging.  Other times?  Well...they just shouldn't make videos.

Sadly, there's not too much you can do about this.  I've seen a video where a user tried to deepen his voice, and it sort of worked.  However, what every person who wants to do youtube videos should do is test how their voice sounds when recorded.  If you don't sound good, try again with better software.  If it still doesn't sound good...maybe you should write a blog. 

That's not why I do a blog instead of videos (I don't really have the time to do Youtube at this point), but even I'm not convinced I sound good or tolerable recorded.  I sound like one of those videos inexperienced female users post: really squeaky and odd.  I've tried to listen to those, but they just sound so annoying.  Also, teenage males need to wait until their voice changes.  Seriously, too many of them get on at like 13 and be all squeaky like.  And yeah, teenage girls probably shouldn't do videos either, but they don't post that young as much. 

My point is, be aware of how your voice sounds and act accordingly.  The videos are made to entertain other people, right?

- Being lazy with clip art.

Sometimes you just have to use clip art.  It happens.  You need a picture of Mario, and unless you're good and have time, it's simpler to use Google and find an image of Mario.  There's company images, and people on deviantart are probably flattered when people on Youtube use their stuff (asking first is probably a good idea though). 

However, there are several ways to be lazy with clip art. 
- Using one piece of clip art for an entire segment.
- Using bad quality art.
- Not making sure that text looks good when put over the art.
- Repeating clip art.

There are as many ways to misuse clip art as there are noobs on Youtube.  And they are just so dang annoying.  It's this sort of video that I'll skip over a lot, just going for the information so that I can get to the next one. 

- Being lazy on the entertainment front.

Making a top ten list is sort of like the cheap way out...says the person making a list.  But anyway, it's a device used by a lot of people who just want views, or just want to rant about what they like or hate.  The people who post videos for wrong reasons are more than likely going to end up with really lame results.  They simply don't do anything extra to get me to care about their opinion.

Now, while I don't mind people writing out their opinion in text rather than recording sound, but I'll admit that that's kind of lazy.  Why not speak up about your opinion, other than the aforementioned annoying voice problem?  Or perhaps make your text fade in, or jump around.  How about adding video clips from the games you're talking about?  Maybe filming a little skit?  I saw one video on the net where a guy made a skit about being killed by a teddy bear, and it was super cute.  This even made up for his not entirely clear accent -- creativity goes a long way.  Another guy mentioned the comments he got on other videos to introduce his top ten. 

But so many people do none of these things.  They just use boring clip art, boring reasoning, and foggy microphones just to put up some semblance of an opinion.  Adding something creative, maybe just one cute little thing, will get people to watch your videos.  It will make you distinctive, instead of one of the bottom layer of newbs crying out for attention with your pathetic entry.  Your video should speak for itself.

I once found a video by a guy for his top ten scariest video game stuffs, and he was literally just sitting there, in his offensively boring sweater, talking.  No text, art, clips or even numbers denoting which position he was talking about.  Needless to say, his opinions were not counted. 

- That awful, awful rock/techno music played loudly over a list.

Oh no, I wasn't going to skip this one.  It deserves first place, as it's not only the most annoying, but most common problem with top ten videos.  It's lazy, it's mean, and for crying out loud, nobody has the exact same music taste.  Blasting metal isn't really appropriate when you're talking about the likes of Mario and Zelda.  Does not compute.  Syntax error.  What's worse, they just feel the need to make it loud and obnoxious, forcing you to mute it out.  Or, more than likely, hitting the back button. 

The solution to this is simple: have music that fits your video and keep it low enough volume to remain secondary to your content.  Too simple for video noobs?  Apparently.   Bffft.

In any case, I'll have my other video up sometime this next week.  Until then!

1 comment:

  1. Good List! I really agree with the Lazy entertainment front and Loud music points!